Gypsy Mom Ready to roll – NOW

and she’s ours. We get to pick it up Thursday.

I know some people blog in order to help their readers. I must confess, I blog here at Gypsymom.com mostly because I’m so excited about this trip that I can’t stand not to share the details, and I’m not yet ready to put them on my normal blog where I might have to discuss them with friends and family.

But here’s my unreasonable fear…

don’t laugh…

I have relatives in the south and we’ll be visiting them. Whenever I tend to see my Aunt Maryann in Mobile, Alabama, I end up talking like I’m from Alabama. It’s true. Whenever we go to Texas, I come home with a little bit of a Texas drawl. I’m from Maryland and my parents live there, I’m sure I’ll end up using a Maryland accent when I say words like “out” and “roof.”

I’m afraid I’ll sound like an idiot with a hundred different accents all the time.

Unreasonable? I don’t think so, y’all.

I read an article today called “How rich is rich?” whereby the idea of traveling and not having to work was approached- much as it always is in mainstream culture- as a goal to “work” for, rather than simply a way of being.

 

It struck me as I was reading it that a year ago I would not have perceived it the same way. Reading it today, it seemed the silliest of propaganda for a consumer-based culture. Take the following quote, for example:

“I’d like to have enough money so my family and I wouldn’t have to work anymore or worry about the necessities, and maybe travel a bit,” said Deborah Veale, a Southern California resident visiting New York City.

Veale said she’d need about $10 million to consider herself set.

One woman from Seattle put it at a “couple thousand dollars a month.” Another from New York City wanted a billion (although she’d still fly coach.)

Experts peg the figure to be somewhere around $2 million to $12 million in savings.

I wonder which sort of experts they’re talking about. Because I’d consider someone an expert if they’d reached this goal. Not a single family-on-the-road has indicated that you need to be a millionaire in order to embark on this adventure. In my book, someone is an expert if they’re living a lifestyle that involves travel more than work. Over and over again, other families on the road encourage readers to JUST DO IT. Why do people not question the belief that one must be wealthy in order to travel more than they work?

In the past we’ve experienced times when we didn’t know how we’d pay the power bill, but it ALWAYS works out. After we lost our family business in 2007, we had 2 cars repossessed. But it worked out. We had our house foreclosed on and, it worked out. We’re in a rental now that’s less than half the cost of our mortgage. We’re both working from home instead of spending 12-16 hours in the restaurant and LIFE IS GOOD.

But we definitely don’t have $2-$12 million in the bank. That would be ridiculous. So we’re supposed to slave our entire life away “saving” millions of dollars before we can assume a CHEAPER lifestyle, of travel?

Articles like this really make it look impossible for the average family. There’s no talk here of getting rid of unnecessary possessions, of selling the house, of committing to a lifestyle that involves DOING rather than shopping. For $2-$12 million dollars, I guess we could pack a suitcase, pay our rent for a few years and fly from one airport to another, paying for hotels, meals out and souvenirs… is THAT their vision of travel?

And I guess if we were taught that working was bound to be detestable, then we’d be glad to never earn a dime again, but I LOVE my work. I’d rather work than watch television.

On the high end of that range, a single person living in an expensive part of the country (say, New York City), wanting to retire at 35 would need at least $300,000 a year to feel rich, according to Steven Kaye, president of Watchung, N.J.-based wealth management firm American Economic Planning Group. He based that number on real-life figures his clients tell him they need.

A yearly income of $300,000 would allow for taxes, a $3,800-a-month apartment (the average price in Manhattan), and a monthly spending allowance of around twelve grand, he said. Not too bad, especially since you could do this all without a pesky job.

Wow. Remind me not to retire to Manhattan, or to hire this guy as my financial planner. Does he realize that the more you make, the more taxes you pay? On the other hand, it’s nice to know what the “average” Manhattan apartment is running. Maybe one day we’ll rent a “below average” apartment for a few months, to better explore NYC. And $12k a month- just to spend on… what? Seriously, I don’t understand uber consumers like this. Shopping is fun, yes, but not to the tune of $12k a month. Think about that, it’s $400 a DAY. That’s almost what we pay in rent.  I guess- if you’re shopping each day for designer clothing- then maybe $400 wouldn’t go far, but really… when would you WEAR all that clothing? For $40 a day (ten percent of that) My entire family could eat 3 good meals a day (maybe not in NYC) AND have money leftover to contribute to a family-clothing fund and pick up brand-name clothing at a thrift shop every few weeks from the original consumers who paid full price and donated it to make more room in their closet. It’s the second R in Reduce, Reuse, Recycle…

And this next little bit of “wisdom” struck me as particularly idiodic:

Of course, there are other ways of determining wealth besides just what you’ll need to live well in retirement.

Although decidedly not recommended by financial planners, one is relativity. Basically, you’re rich if you’re making more than your brother-in-law.

I’m sorry, but I’m feeling a different kind of relativity here… It would seem to me that if you’re planning to live like the Queen of England, then you’d need to SAVE enough to afford to live like the Queen of England. However, if you plan to live like a gypsy, then you only need enough cash flow to keep moving, keep exploring and keep loving life, wherever the road leads.

Who the hell cares what their brother-in-law makes? My brother-in-law is a Beverly Hills attorney, I’m sure he makes (and pisses away) more than I’m interested in. And he pays for it, too, in the form of having to leave early every morning and come home late some evenings, tired from his work and spending more time “networking” instead of making true friends, planning vacations way ahead of time and missing his wife and children while he’s amassing those millions. By comparison, WE live more like Royalty than he does, even though our annual income is probably close to what he makes per month. We get to spend each day hanging out with our awesome, ever-changing children. I can’t imagine wasting away each day collecting money while the children grow up in the background. When they’re finally ready to retire, their kids will be grown up and moved out. What kind of life is that? We have plenty of time to spend in the garden, growing organic veggies that nourish every cell in our bodies, instead of purchasing processed foods that rob us of nutrients.

I can appreciate that people have different priorities in life. I’m BEYOND glad to be living up to mine, even if it means we’re not millionaires. No one can convince me that we need millions of dollars in the bank, in order to “retire.” All we need is enough cashflow to keep the RV in motion, food in our bellies and to renew our annual zoo membership. And when you’re making a living in a way you enjoy, it doesn’t feel like work anyway.

I like articles like this that force me to appreciate my “alternative” point of view so much. I’m also glad it forces me to see how far we’ve come over the years. In 2005, I’m sure, that I would have believed that a life of travel is out of our league. I’m so grateful to have made online “friends” with so many families who set off into the unknown, to live a life of travel and “retirement” instead of waiting until their life is more than halfway over. LIVE LIFE NOW. Because you never know what tomorrow will bring.

I’m glad to know that if my husband were to die, I wouldn’t feel like I hardly knew him. My kids would have a million and ten awesome memories with him. I’m so glad he’s not the type to spend more time working than with us.

Edited to add this list of jobs you can do while living like a nomad.

Things are coming together and I am falling apart.

Well, we’ve officially gotten the half-hearted blessings of our 13 yr old daughter, who has, up till now, insisted that this trip is designed to ruin her social life.

Also, I’ve created a post on Facebook and I think I’m about to delete it- the comments after only 1/2 an hour make me feel quite positive that I don’t want to share this with everyone yet.

Mainly, I wanted to compile a list of people to visit… houses of friends where we could park overnight so the kids can play in a real yard, perhaps have a slumber party, we can share a meal with another family and explore the area with the guidance or advice of a local.

What I’m getting are people’s initial reactions to the idea of the trip and suggestions about things we should see. We have a HUGE list of things we’d like to see along the way- the kids each have tons of things they want to check out in each location and I’m happy to be able to say “Yes, add that to the list”

But posting it on Facebook for every family member and old friend to see… Not that anyone has said anything negative… yet

I wonder if I should have mentioned it to family first. We do plan on visiting them.

Ahhh- hold me up, girls. I can DO THIS.

I keep wondering if I’ll be able to bring any of them. I know they’ll need to be secured- I’m thinking a hanging planter might be smart, if there’s somewhere to hang it.

Do RV families get to have houseplants?

If not, I can cope with it, but it sure would be nice to keep a couple of them.

I’ve done so well with getting rid of things this week. The shelves in my living room that were PACKED with books, DVD and VHS movies, nick-knacks, and cd’s are now.. not empty… void of items we don’t want to bring.

I’ll probably have to do one more purge, there are a few books I wasn’t ready to let go of yet. I want to give some away to people in my life who will appreciate them. I listed some on Amazon.com and I’ll be listing more on eBay.com. Some were donated, some were given back to whomever lent them to me (shameful, I know)

I threw away tons of clothes. These were things that were ripped or terribly stained. I ruined a few perfectly useful pieces of clothing because I have this THING about using fabric in my collages, so I cut out 8×11 sections of clothes that were special to me, that my kids handed down a lot or something, and they’re in a binder that I can pull from when I want to use them in art projects.

So here I am- all week long- purging, purging, purging- sending stuff to Goodwill, dropping things off at people’s houses, throwing things away- working deep inside closets and bookshelves and my neighbor has a yard sale.

My kids come home with – I swear- 4 trash bags FILLED with stuff.

I wanted to say GET THAT CRAP OUT OF MY HOUSE

But I didn’t. it was so sweet to see them giving each other presents, playing so sweetly together, enjoying their new stuff. My 9 yr old got my husband and I a set of matching coffee cups. We have plenty of coffee cups, but she was so excited to be able to give. I’m sure some of the things I’ve given people this week might have been “crap” to them, but it sure felt nice to give it. I need to be more mindful of things like this, I think, and feel gratitude for the love behind the gift, even if it is crap. I should have learned this lesson many years ago. I can’t wait to have a cup of coffee tomorrow, in the goofy bunny rabbit mug that’s destined to be a reminder of “the thought that counts.”

My sister found this company that makes the most beautiful custom tents. I think they’re supposed to be for patio usage- but wouldn’t it be cool to set one up for our outdoor dining wherever we go?
In one of the photos on their website they had a King or Queen sized bed set up in one of these- can you imagine? Sleeping in a tent like this on the beach... in a meadow... in the middle of a forest. It makes me want to work in a scene like this to a screenplay, because I have a bunch of movies I'd like to finish writing (are you surprised, honestly?)

If I owned a spa, I’d totally use these tents in outdoor areas. They’re so… gypsy. They’re so… Harry Potter at the Quidditch playoffs. They’re so… Chronicles of Narnia. they’re so.. The Red Tent.

OOOOOHHHH- If I were planning to buy silk wrap skirts and beaded jewelry at wholesale and sell them at events, I’d totally have to buy a tent like this. And hire a fortune teller.

The other day my husband and I were visiting with a friend. My husband had just come home from helping another of his friends purchase an RV. I think it was 28 feet, a late 1980′s model. The fridge, stove, oven and air conditioner worked, it had a bathtub and slept up to 5 people. I was too small for our family, but he only paid like $1000 for it.  So my husband was on this emotional RV high, just feeling his friend’s excitement and knowing that one day we’ll be buying ours, too.

Anyway- so we’re visiting with a friend and he says “Yeah, that would be fine for the weekend or something, I guess.  You’d have fun for a little while but you couldn’t like live in it, you’d get sick of it.” and he tells a story of a funny movie he saw where the grandparents sell their house and buy an RV, then they go visit the kids and everyone comes over to sit in the camper for dinner and the grandma starts to cry and says “I want my dining room back.”

I laughed – it was a funny story. But I made it clear that I TOTALLY want to live in it.  See, we wouldn’t be IN it all the time, we’d have an outdoor setup, too, with patio furniture or even just picnic blankets.  It’s not about being inside, it’s about all the places it can take you.

He says “Yeah- but what about inclement weather?  You don’t want to be somewhere and it’s like 100 degrees or freezing or something?”  I said “We’d plan to go places when it’s best to be there, but we’ve dealt with summers and winters here without much heating or air conditioning to speak of.  it’s not that big of a deal”

He said “People don’t really do that, though with kids. I mean, you can’t, can you? I bet they’d learn a lot, but you can’t just stay on a road trip as long as you want, can you?”  I said “I can name like 75 families right off the top of my head who are doing it. I’ve made friends with so many families who are living on the road. For some it’s a year-long thing, others have been doing it for years and I know AT LEAST five families who have sold their houses this year and hit the road.  So you CAN do it with kids, and we’re going to.”

And he says “But wouldn’t you get claustrophobic, all of you in that one little area?” And I said “Well, it wouldn’t be ABOUT the little area, it would be about exploring the whole big country, we’d spend more time outside of it than inside”

And he said “But how much can you really explore in one place? Wouldn’t you get bored” And I said “I don’t know- we’d stay long enough to collect enough veggie oil to move onto the next place. There would always be someone interesting in the RV park, some creek or stream for the kids to play in, some bicycle path, some public fountain, some library, some museum, some national park or historic monument. We could spend days just researching and figuring out where to go next”

So he said “OK- so you’re like a gypsy?”

I wish I could say that the conversation ended there.  He got a little excited about the idea of just wandering around doing whatever you wanted. He’s thinking now it would be fun to just spend a few months fishing in all the rivers between here and Alaska. The conversation was a good exercise for me, this would be the first time I’ve spoken with ANYONE who isn’t totally into the idea.  I suspect our families will be naysayers, too.  But they might surprise us, who knows?

I’ve done a great job this week of getting rid of stuff.  I’ve completely removed every trace of winter clothes from the house, with the exception of one coat for everyone. We had millions of sweaters, coats, scarves, hats, etc.  Way more than we needed. I’m not saying we won’t spend any time in cold environments, but we don’t all need 3 months worth of winter clothes, do we?  I’ve loaded up the Suburban THREE TIMES for Goodwill.  Clothes, blankets, etc.  I’ve listed a bunch of books on Amazon. I plan to list more on eBay.  Whatever doesn’t sell by the time we’re ready to leave I can drop off with my friend Jamie and she can sell them. I’ve also been scanning family photos so we can have digital versions of them.  the originals will probably go into storage.

I really admire how some people just DO IT.  I don’t know why I need so much time to prepare.  I know it’s all part of the process for me, I know these actions set the ball in motion and that we get closer every day.

We’re making vision boards again this week.  Last time, mine was like an 8 yr old’s Christmas list. There were so many things on it that I had a hard time focusing.  It wasn’t a fruitless project, it’s helped me reign in my true desires and I’ll be making a new one today, with just a few things to focus on.  I’m having trouble finding a picture of an RV in real life so we’ll be visiting a dealership today to bring home sales materials.   The only major important point is that it NEEDS to be diesel so we can convert it to run on veggie oil.  My husband has a design in mind for a complete hydropower system, but I’m not waiting for that.

Anyway.  That’s all.  No real physical action this week, but a lot of mental shifting.  I was really happy to see my husband having passion for this because so far I’ve kinda felt like I’m the only one into the project.

Baby steps…. I must appreciate this part of the journey, too.  Everything happens for a reason, right?  The day we leave will be the PERFECT day to leave because everything will fall right into place, like it ALWAYS does.

yeah- that should be the new name for my travel website that always ends up being a website about how I plan to go somewhere and it doesn’t happen. I need to keep reminding myself that last year I planned a trip that DID happen. it happened because I didn’t depend on anyone else to participate in helping to make it happen. If I’d done that this time, I’d be at Disneyland right now. Instead, I am writing here and making a personal promise to myself that in 2 months we’ll be on our way to Dallas again, because, like last year, I’m not letting anything interfere with this trip. So- I have to go now, it’s an expensive trip and I’m supposed to be working. And I might have another camper to look at. Honestly, I’m not turning away free campers because I’m spoiled, it’s because I have a lot of kids. I wonder if we can just string them all together, like on a roller coaster. On a side note, I’m working on my badass gypsy skillz. I can do hula hoop tricks now I found out where to buy hula hoops you light on fire, which really sounds looks cool. Also, my daughter informed me that she’s working on her pickpocket skills, she does it to amuse people. I’m not so amused :[

In exactly 1 month we’re supposed to be leaving for a 6 week trip through Washington, Oregon and California. Let’s see how this plays out…